“If Josh is watching…” – Dean Windass issues message to his son in open and honest interview

“If Josh is watching…” – Dean Windass issues a heartfelt message to his son in open and honest interview on a recent Clutch 9 episode.

He spoke to Scarlette Douglas, James Collins and Glenn Murray on the painful breakdown of his relationship with his two children, Dean makes a heartfelt appeal directly to his son, Josh.

On the pitch, he reflects on his journey from cleaning boots at the start of his career to questioning whether he should have retired after his iconic play-off winner at Wembley for Hull City.

Away from football, Dean speaks candidly about his battle with depression and his past struggle with alcoholism, including the darkest moment when he tried to take his own life.

Timestamps for video below –
0:00 Intro
1:43 Youth Training Scheme & cleaning boots at Hull City
6:37 Working in a factory & playing non-league football
8:00 Hull City play-off goal at Wembley Stadium
12:29 Stopping Rory Delap’s long throws
14:58 Three Red cards in one game
20:14 That famous Stuart McCall Bradford promotion celebration
28:47 Mental health struggles after retirement
32:50 Going to rehab and coming to terms with mental health
36:40 Working at Soccer Saturday
38:06 Suicide attempt made was the turning point
45:06 Getting scammed through a film investment partnership
49:06 Getting diagnosed with dementia
64:23 Painful breakdown of relationship with his kids

He said: I’m surprised I haven’t cried today, but I’ve cried a few times on my podcast just listening to people’s stories.

“So it’s not just me, I’m not feeling sorry for myself because we’re all in the same boat. If you’re going to tell me there’s no wrong with you or you’re happy every day, well you’re a liar? Because everyone’s got problems, everybody’s got issues.

I’ve got problems now and I’m not afraid to say it, when I said to Gav, you know, I’m not speaking to my kids at the minute and it’s breaking me out.

” And I put a post on Twitter the other day about please get in touch Josh and it’s killing me because of what’s going on, you know.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been a twat and I’ve done some stupid things and it’s upset the kids and I’ll hold my hand up.

“I was a shit husband but I’m a good dad and I’ve always tried helping my children right through their football careers and Josh is very, very successful now and got a wife and my granddaughter.

“I haven’t seen my granddaughter for a year and it hurts, do you know what I mean?

“And I don’t want other footballers to, you know, there’s a lot of footballers who, you know, look at Brooklyn Beckham in the paper, do you know what I mean? I’m thinking, life’s too short, man. Life’s too short.

“So if Josh does watch this, please Wembley, please, do you know, because he’s my little boy. Do you know what I mean? To see him to score the goal at Wembley for Sheffield Wednesday. It’s just unbelievable. For me to do it and then for him to do it, all I want is for Jordan, when Jordan signed for Oldham, all I want is for Jordan to go to Wembley and he do it and there’s three of us doing it.

“Obviously, Jordan came out the game but, yeah, I don’t speak to my two kids now, they’d probably because my own father as well, but then not tell him about the diagnosis. Because I don’t want to worry him.

“Josh is in the public eye, do you know what I mean? I’m trying to do the right thing, but then it’s backfired on me, yeah.

Dean Windass posts heartbreaking birthday message with plea for son Josh to get in touch

“And like there, probably like, in that tweet over there, you know, one and a half million views saw it. So then Josh is going to get pelted from some of the fans who have “ring your Dad, ring your Dad…, do you know what I mean?

“So, but it’s the only way, I thought it was bad about it, but I thought, it’s the only way that I can get in contact.

“Because he’s not answering my phone, I don’t know where he lives, he’s moved to Wrexham, I don’t know where he lives.

“Do you know, my youngest son don’t talk to me now because of other things have gone on. So my two kids don’t talk to me.

“And I think, what have I done that bad? I’m not that bad. I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve paid the price for them mistakes, do you know what I mean?

“Do you know, you put your hand up and you go, yeah, I’ve made a mistake. Do you know, but I own my responsibilities.

“But all I do, like there, doing the walking and doing the charity work and do it, all I’m trying to do is help people.

“And all you need is a little bit of a cuddle now and then, do you know what I mean?

“And if my dad was alive now, he’d probably tell me something different. Do you know, he’d say, look, don’t worry about it, da-da-da-da-da-da.

“But he’s not here anymore. My mum’s 84, she’s, you know, declining as well.

“So, yeah, it’s not good, it’s not good. But yeah, it’s not good, man, to be fair. But I can’t do anything about it, he’s a grown man.

“Yeah, you just text him every day and say, I love you, and you can’t do any more, can you?

“The good thing about football is now is you can watch them on TV. You know, I’ve not been… I spoke to some supporters up, Wrexham on Twitter, went, you at the game today, didn’t they? Because they didn’t know that we wasn’t talking. Now everybody knows we’re not talking. They’ll go, that’s the reason why I didn’t go.

“So I just watch on TV, do you know what I mean? And I’m there, I’m on the edge of the seat, if he’s got a chance or he… Do you know what I mean? You see things on the pitch, you’re thinking, go on, hit that diagonal, go on.

“Like the other night when they went to penalties with Forest, he’s the penalty taker, he was the first one to take the first penalty.

“And I’m on the couch going, please don’t miss. Two for me. Please don’t miss, do you know what I mean? Because he’s going to get slaughtered because I put that tweet out, do you know what I mean?

“And is it affecting him? I don’t know, because I don’t know the answer.”