In this article, we take a look at Britain’s rudest sounding football clubs and place names, a cause for plenty of laughter.
The United Kingdom is full of places bearing unusual, amusing and sometimes downright rude names, and some of them might just be down the road from where you live.
Believe it or not, there are some people that love to tour the country just to get a photo in front of the rude sound town sign.
We’ve done some research and have put together the ultimate list so we hope you get as much pleasure reading the list as we did putting it together. Take a look below…
Bishops Itchington FC – Bishops Itchington (in Stratford-on-Avon) have 3 Mens teams running currently, members of the Banbury and Lord Jersey League on a Saturday (First Team and Reserves) and the Leamington and District Sunday League Division 1.
Lickey End Social FC – The club play in the Bromsgrove & District Football League with the home games in the Worcestershire village of Lickey End just north of Bromsgrove.
Bonar Bridge FC
They are a Scottish football club based in the town of Bonar Bridge in the Scottish Highlands. They play in the North Caledonian League.
They formed in 1968, and were regular members of the North Caledonian League for over thirty-five years before they dropped out in 2010 and fell into an extended period of abeyance.
The club was came back in 2019 with the intention of returning to the league. Their application was ratified at the League’s AGM in July 2019.
Cockermouth FC – These are an amateur football team playing in the Smurfit Kappa Cumberland Premier League. Cockermouth is a small bustling market town on the north west edge of the Lake District.
Cockfield FC – Cockfield Football Club was an football team from the village of Cockfield, County Durham in the north of England which was dubbed the “Village Wonder Team” in the 1920s after achieving success in the national FA Amateur Cup. The club’s fortunes later declined significantly and it folded in 2010.
Cockfosters FC – This is a football club based in Cockfosters in the London Borough of Enfield, England. They are currently members of the Essex Senior League and play at the Cockfosters Sports Ground on Chalk Lane.
Feltham FC – They were a semi-professional football club in Feltham, Greater London, England. The highest they ever got to was the Isthmian League Division One. They dissolved in 1991. There is a Bedfont and Feltham who play in the Combined Counties League.
Knutsford FC – These are based in the town of Knutsford, Cheshire. The club was founded in 1888 and today play their football in the Cheshire League Premier Division. They are the only founding member to have stayed in the league since its formation in 1948.
Peover FC – This club existed up until the summer of 2014, playing in the East Cheshire Sunday Football League. They play their home games in Over Peover at Peover park on Stocks Lane in the village of Peover Superior.
Penistone Church FC
These are an English football club based in Penistone, Barnsley, South Yorkshire.
They play in the Northern Counties East League Premier Division, at level 9 of the English football league system.
Their best League performance was a 2nd place finish in the Northern Counties East League Premier Division (2018–19) and their record attendance sits at 656 against Barnsley, a friendly in 2016–17.
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Ramsbottom United FC – They are an English football club based in Ramsbottom, Greater Manchester. Nicknamed “The Rams”, they currently compete in the Northern Premier League Division One North West and play their home matches at the Harry Williams Riverside Stadium, Acrebottom, Ramsbottom. They are full members of the Lancashire County Football Association.
Slip End United FC – A Sunday league football team that has been running for about 30 years. The first team play in the North Home Counties Sunday Football League Division 1 and the reserve team play in the South Bedfordshire Sunday Football League. Both teams play their home games at the Slip End playing fields behind the St. Andrew Church.
Staines Town FC – A professional football club based in Staines-upon-Thames, Surrey. Founded in 1892, they currently play in the Isthmian League South Central Division. The club is parented to the Middlesex County Football Association.
Wideopen FC – They are a senior team based in the Tyne and Wear village of Wideopen, also occasionally spelled Wide Open, in the administrative borough of North Tyneside, north of Gosforth and six miles (9.7 km) north of Newcastle upon Tyne city centre.
Undy AFC – A Welsh football club based in the village of Undy, Monmouthshire. The club plays in the Cymru South league.
Scunthorpe United – A professional association football club based in the town of Scunthorpe, Lincolnshire, England. The team competes in League Two, the fourth tier of the English football league system.
Coxhoe Athletic – Based at Beechfield Park, Coxhoe Athletic has a long standing association with the village of Coxhoe, having been established in 1950. A grassroots club playing in the Wearside Football League Division 1.
Kilcock Celtic FC – An football club based in Kildare, Ireland that competes in the Kildare & District League.
RUDE, WEIRD, FUNNY UK PLACE NAMES
Acock’s Green, Worcestershire, UK
Babes Well, Durham, UK
Bachelors Bump, Essex, UK
Backside Lane, Oxfordshire
Balls Green, Kent, England
Balls Cross, WestSussex
Bareleg Hill, Staffordshire, UK
Beaver Close, Surrey
Bedlam Bottom, Hampshire, UK
Beef Lane, Oxfordshire
Beer, Devon, UK
Beggars Bush, Sussex passed her prime
Bell End near Lickey End
Bishops Itchington, Staffs, UK
Boggy Bottom, Abbots Langley, Herts, UK
Booty Lane, NorthYorkshire
Bottoms Fold, Lancashire
Broadbottom, Cheshire, UK
Brown Willy, Cornwall,UK
Bushygap, Northumberland, UK
Catsgore, Somerset, UK
Charles Bottom, Devon, UK
Clap Hill, village in Kent, UK
Clay Bottom, Bristol, UK
Cock Alley, Calow, UK
Cock Bridge, Hope, Derbyshire, UK
Cock Green, nr Braintree
Cock Lane, Tutts Clump, Berkshire, UK
Cock Law, Northumberland, UK
Cock and Bell Lane, Suffolk
Cockernhoe, nr Luton, UK
Cocking, Midhurst, West Sussex, UK
Cockintake, Staffordshire, UK
Cockpit Hill, Derbyshire, UK
Cockplay, Northumberland, UK
Cockshoot Close, Oxfordshire
Cockshot, Northumberland, UK
Cockshutt Wood, Sheffield, UK
Cockup Lake District, Cumbria. UK
Coldwind, Cornwall, UK
Crackington Haven, Cornwall, UK
Crackpot, North Yorkshire, UK
Crotch Crescent, Oxford
Deans Bottom, Kent, UK
Devil’s Lapful, Northumberland, UK
Dicks Mount, Suffolk
Drinkstone, Suffolk, UK
Faggot, Northumberland, UK
Fanny Barks, Durham, UK
Fanny Avenue, Derbyshire
Fanny Hands Lane, Lincolnshire
Feltham Close, Hampshire
Flesh Shank, Northumberland, UK
Friars Entry, Oxfordshire
Fruitfall Cove, Cornwall, UK
Fudgepack upon Humber, Humberside
Gay Street, Sussex. UK
Gays Hill, Cornwall, UK
Giggleswick, Staincliffe, Nth. Yorkshire, UK
Golden Balls, Oxfordshire, UK
Gravelly Bottom Road, nr Langley Heath, Kent, UK
Great Cockup & Little Cockup, hills in The Lake District, UK
Great Horwood, Bucks, UK
Great Tosson, Northumberland
Grope Lane, Shropshire
Hampton Gay, Oxfordshire, UK
Happy Bottom, Dorset
Helstone, Cornwall, UK
Hole Bottom, Yorkshire, UK
Hole of Horcum, North Yorkshire
Holly Bush, Ledbury, Herefordshire, UK
Honey Knob Hill, Wiltshire
Honeypot Lane, Leicestershire
Hooker Road, Norwich
Horneyman, Kent, UK
Hornyold Road, Malvern Wells, UK
Horwood, Devon, UK
Jeffries Passage, Surrey
Jolly’s Bottom, Cornwall, UK
Juggs Close, EastSussex
Knockerdown, Derbyshire, UK
Letch Lane, Bourton-on-the-Water, The Cotswolds, UK
Lickar Moor, Northumberland, UK
Lickers Lane, Merseyside
Lickey End, Worcestershire, UK
Lickfold, West Sussex
Little Horwood, Bucks, UK
Little Bushey Lane, Hertfordshire
Long Lover Lane, Halifax
Lower Swell, Gloucestershire
Menlove Avenue, Liverpool
Minge Lane, Worcestershire
Moisty Lane, Staffordshire
Nether Wallop, Hampshire
Nob End, South Lancashire, UK
Nork Rise, Surrey
North Piddle, Worcestershire
Ogle Close, Merseyside
Old Sodbury, Gloucestershire
Old Sodom Lane, Wiltshire
Over Peover, Cheshire, UK
Penistone, Sth Yorkshire, UK
Piddle River, Dorset, UK
Pork Lane, Essex
Pratt’s Bottom, Kent
Pump Alley, Middlesex
Ram Alley, Wiltshire, UK
Ramsbottom, Lancs, UK
Rimswell, East Riding of Yorkshire
Sandy Balls, Hampshire
Scratchy Bottom, Dorset, UK
Shaggs, Dorset, UK
Shingaycum Wendy, Buckinghamshire
Shitlingthorpe, Yorkshire, UK
Shittington,, Bedfordshire, UK
Six Mile Bottom, Cambridge, UK
Slackbottom, Yorkshire, UK
Slag Lane, Merseyside
Slip End, Beds, UK
Slippery Lane, Staffordshire
Spanker Lane, Derbyshire.
Spitalin the Street, Lincolnshire
Splatt, Cornwall, UK
Stow cum Quy, Cambridgeshire, UK
The Blind Fiddler, Cornwall, UK
The Bush, Buckinghamshire
The Furry, Cornwall
The Knob, Oxfordshire
Tinkerbush Lane, Oxfordshire
Titcomb, near Inkpen, Berkshire, UK
Titlington Mount, Northumberland
Titty Hill, Sussex, UK
Titty Ho, Northamptonshire
Turkey Cock Lane, Colchester, Essex, UK
Upper Bleeding, Sussex, UK
Upper Chute, Hampshire, UK
Upper Dicker & Lower Dicker, East Sussex, UK
Upperthong, West Riding, Yorkshire, UK
Wash Dyke, Norfolk, UK
Weedon Lois, Northampton
Weedon, in the Parish of Hardwick, Buckinghamshire, UK
Weeford, Staffordshire, UK
Wet Rain, Yorkshire, UK
Wetwang, East Yorkshire
Wideopen, Newcastle, UK
Winkle Street, Southampton
Wormegay, Norfolk, UK
Wyre Piddle, Worcestershire
Ardgay, Ross & Cromarty, UK
Assloss, Ayrshire, Scotland
Backside, Aberdeenshire, Scotland
Backside, Banffshire, Scotland
Ballownie, Angus, UK
Forest Dyke Road, Lanarkshire
Boysack, Angus, Scot.
Butt of Lewis, Hebrides, Scotland, UK
Cock of Arran, Isle of Arran, Scotland, UK
Cumloden Court, Dumfries and Galloway
Dick Court, Lanarkshire
East Breast, Inverclyde
Fannyfield, Ross and Cromarty, UK
Fattiehead, Banffshire, Scotland
Inchbare, Angus, uk
Inchinnan Drive, Renfrewshire
Merkins Avenue, West Dumbartonshire
Stripeside, Banffshire, UK
Tarty, Aberdeenshire, Scotland, UK
The Bastard, a mountain in Scotland, uk