Mark Goldbridge has fans in stitches on social media with his reaction to Newcastle scoring against Man Utd on Saturday night.
The Magpies moved above Manchester United and into fifth with a 1-0 Premier League victory at a cold St James’ Park, with Anthony Gordon scoring the only goal of the game from Kieran Trippier’s cross early in the second half.
This might be one of his funniest reactions to date, it’s no wonder the clip has gone viral, getting over a million views and nearly 7,000 likes in the first 13 hours…
Mark Goldbridge reacts to Newcastle goal 🤯💩
— Out of Context Mark Goldbridge (@NoContextMarkG) December 2, 2023
He said in the clip gone viral: “Here we go. Trippier. goal. That’s it. That’s it. Fucking hell.
“You know what? I almost want to applaud Newcastle. I thought we might come out in the second half and do something, and I don’t know why I’m going back and forward. I’m making more movements than our fucking team.
“But that’s just so simple. They’ve carved us open. What’s that saying? What’s that saying?
“Don’t eat cucumber from a women’s prison and don’t trust Manchester United in an away game because we’re fucking shit.
“This was always going to happen. This was always going to happen. I said it was going to happen and loads of you agreed with me.
“You can only hold it. Have you ever been in a situation in life where you really need a poo, but you can’t go? So you hold it in. You can hold the shit in for so long, but at some point you’re going to have an explosion of shite. And that’s exactly what’s happening.
“This is so predictable. We’re not going to get away with it. We’re not playing well. Teams are better than us, and when they start to put their chances in, they’ll fucking destroy us.
“And that’s exactly what’s happening. We’ve been holding the shit in for weeks. Five wins out of six against shite. Against shite.
“We’ve literally been like this. We’re not rubbish. Look, we’re not rubbish called in for much longer. Everywhere. Everywhere. Because that’s what we are. We’re shite. We’re so bad.”
Newcastle boss Eddie Howe speaking to TNT Sports: “I couldn’t be happier with the players tonight. The performances we put in against three top teams were brilliant, so that will give us confidence. Then, when we get some players back, we can push on even further.”
On Nick Pope’s injury: “It will be a massive blow for us if he is ruled out for any length of time. It looked really innocuous, but that is usually the way and they are normally the more serious ones. You could see he was in distress and it looked like he dislocated his shoulder just diving.
“Martin Dubravka came on in a tricky situation with 10 minutes to go with a narrow lead, which is not nice for any goalkeeper, so I have to compliment him for doing so well.”
On match-winner Anthony Gordon: “From day one, when he arrived at the club, you could see the passion he had and his desire to achieve and be successful. He puts the work in every day and sometimes we have to go and get him off the training pitch.
“He was very good again up against a very good defender today in Wan-Bissaka. Physically he was so good today, it was a really good battle between the two of them.
“I am delighted he is scoring the goals now and getting the recognition he deserves.”
Anthony Gordon speaking to TNT Sports: “It’s amazing to win today. It’s been a massive week for us, some good moments, some difficult moments, but we came through it as a team. The same eleven played three games on the bounce and we pulled through.
“It definitely makes the result more satisfying that we pulled through with the same team. It’s not just the lads that are injured, the ones that are playing have kicks and bruises, I’m limping.
“It’s so satisfying because we know how hard we work for each other, so to get the win today is massive.”
On his goal: “I thought they defended really well in the first half, so we had to work out another way to get past them. It was a great goal, a good passage of play from the team, some nice passes and the best type of finish, a tap-in.”
On combining with Tino Livramento down the left-hand side: “He has been a great addition to the squad. A lovely person and more importantly what a player. His form has been immense and I am really enjoying playing with him.”
On his relationship with the fans: “They are the best fanbase in the country. The way we play at home compared to away is very different and it is all down to them.”
Manchester United manager Erik ten Hag speaking to TNT Sports: “We had a tough first half and at half-time we were pleased to be in the game. We had a good comeback in the last part of the game. We will talk tomorrow with the team about it. We go back, we will talk about this, and move on to Wednesday.”
On his biggest concerns: “As I said, I will talk with my team. We had some chances. We thought we scored a goal but it was offside. We could have scored.”
On Marcus Rashford: “I will talk to him and not the media.”
On Bruno Fernandes: “I think everyone has seen what happened. Before that, we had a very good break to create a big chance. There was a foul, we will leave that behind us.”
On the busy fixture schedule: “This week it was not in our advantage, but we will take it as it is.”
On playing Chelsea on Wednesday: “This team is resilient. We have seen it after Manchester City. We had a bad defeat and we stick together. We have a plan and we keep going.”
Manchester United defender Harry Maguire speaking to TNT Sports: “It’s been a tough week with three away days in six days. To be fair, in the first half, we looked like we had played our third away day in six days. Our tempo wasn’t there, the intensity wasn’t there, they were a lot better than us. We grew into the game but we didn’t have enough in the end.
“We put pressure on. We could’ve had a goal, we had one disallowed. We didn’t create enough in the game, our threat wasn’t big enough.”
On Marcus Rashford: “Marcus had an unbelievable season last season. This season, it hasn’t clicked for him. He’s working hard. Everyone in that dressing room knows what he’s about.”
On criticisms about looking unsettled in defence: “We’ve kept a lot of clean sheets in the Premier League. We’ve conceded a few in the Champions League that we’re disappointed with. We’ve got a lot of good defenders at this club.”
As mentioned, Mark Goldbridge has fans in stitches with his reaction to Newcastle scoring against Man Utd…
@TheIrishMagpie: The line “An explosion of shite” brought me close to true, footballing nirvana.
@chelsea_fj: That cucumber thing was unnecessary bruh 😂😂😂
@MissKG86: I was today’s year old when I learnt you should never eat cucumber from a women’s prison.
@mags_mighty: The sheriff on a rant… things ya love to see.
@TrueStorey_No4: This man does a funnier Alan Partridge than Steve Coogan himself. It’s getting to the point of performance art. One of my first go-tos on this fading platform 🤣.
@EastStandeano: It’s this absolute fucking gold from Goldbridge 🤣 #NUFC
@WestHamMatters: Lol I actually really like this guy.
@dtallen1983: 😂😂 he’s not wrong mind 😪
@OxtonSoulBoy: This lad is absolute fucking box office. I think I actually love him. Couldn’t give a fuck who he supports. In fact, scratch that; I could. I love him even more precisely because of who he supports.
@Markafc87: This is brilliant 😂 he’s not wrong either but when are the fans gonna turn on manager as it’s so clear he’s big big problem. Not the stadium being shit hole not the chefs at the training facility like cr7 said 😂 it’s manager and his players
@rocket_gunner: some great takes here @markgoldbridge 😂
@Bristol_NUFC: You love to see it
@Tahas_Takes: I was genuinely not prepared for what he said at 0:21
@A1EX_93_; The joy this brings me 😊
@JayLovesLFC: Lol, they were lucky not to be walloped in the first half, Mark.
@paulrhughes59: He’s absolutely spot on.
@Stu_F_77: An explosion of shite 😂 #nufc
@NUFC_Ez: It’s not often I agree with this man, but he’s spot on.
@80sAinz: One of his better ones 😂 #NEWMUN
@n_pxtel: Goldbridge box office on a Saturday night 😂
@MatthewCantMiss: This may actually be my favourite account on here, makes me laugh way too hard everytime 😭
@andy_preston_: Absolutely love watching this mush lose his shit every week
@A1EX_93_: The joy this brings me 😊
@Paul40530287: Shite in a bucket 😂😂😂